Sometimes when I’m sitting here thinking of nothing, an old thought or memory will pop into my head. It is often out of the blue and for no good reason. Perhaps on some subconscious level, there is a gem of truth or a hidden lesson I should learn from the memory. Today’s memory is no exception… as the not-so-hidden lesson is to always have perspective. Read on to see what I mean.
Almost three years ago, a man I knew socially murdered his wife and 12 year old daughter, then committed suicide. He was a financial planner and had just come under the scrutiny of his home office for steering customers into high-risk investments. Lawsuits had been filed, and his reputation and income were about to become non-existent. This is a small town and he liked to live a bit large, but instead of choosing to start again he decided to end his life. He had that right, it was his life after all. But he also chose to end the lives of his wife and daughter. Would his wife have chosen the same way out had he given her the option? Perhaps, though I think not. She was an intensely devoted mother and very active in both her church and the community. And how about the girl? His daughter had her whole life ahead of her. She had a future full of boys and fun and laughter. She had her own mistakes to make, and her own way in the world to find.
Did it really matter that life as they knew it was about to change? Do you think a child of twelve cares if they rent a two-bedroom house and go to public school or live in a high-rise condo and attend private school? As a mom, I can tell you, that the only thing kids really care about is fun. As long as there is food on the table and a roof over their heads, most children don’t give it a second thought. They are caught up in their own world of friends and fun.
What this man needed, and what we all need, is a bit of perspective. There are few things in the world that can not be overcome. Sure, it may require us to let go of our egos and lower our standard of living, but it is never too late to start again. Don’t become so obsessed with houses or jobs or money thet you forget what really matters - life. If I lose my house, I will still have two beautiful children who bring light and laughter into my heart. If I lose my job, I will still have breath in my body and the opportunity to find a new one. If I lose my money, I may not have steaks on the grill every night, but I will still have every night to enjoy my family and friends.
When bad things happen in our lives, we need to have perspective. We need to be able to step back from the situation and determine if it is really life-threatening. In the short-term it may be life-changing, but rarely will it be life-ending. Remember to look at the whole picture of your life. As you go through trouble and heartache, ask yourself if you will remember or care about it in 10 years. Chances are, after a bit of time has passed, your problems and troubles will simply become a speed-bump in a very long and happy life.
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