Well, December is here and so is the latest blog chain. This time I am starting it off, and running with an idea from the last post of the #12 blog chain.
Kappa no He talked about distractions, specifically writing distractions. It is probably safe to say that everyone gets sidetracked in daily life. It can be as simple as forgetting you were going to the laundry room because you passed a sink full of dishes that needed washing, or it can be as complex as losing your way in your life plan. For me, it seems that life gets in the way of my life plan, and most days I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I was a mediocre student in high school. OK, even that may be an exaggeration. I was a miserable student in high school. I only excelled at the classes I truly enjoyed (English and Math). Anything else was a waste of my time. I skipped the traditional college route, and opted to work full-time and attend college part-time. When I eventually realized that I truly did want to go to college full-time, it was too late. I was living on my own, married, and trying to make ends meet. Even affording part-time classes was too much for my strained budget. College was put on the back-burner, waiting for a period in my life that I would have the time and extra money to attend.
I have started back to college no less than 6 times in the past 12 years. Each time, I get a few classes under my belt, and life steps in the way. One year it was because I started a new business. I dedicated every waking moment to my fledgling company. Something had to give, and it was college. Another year, I had to take a break because I had a baby. Then I had another baby. Then money got tight again. Then time was at a premium. Then I was just too tired.
When I look back at all the reasons I left college, I see excuses. I’m certain many would tell me that if college were truly important to me, I would have found the money or made the time. The truth is, when you are actually living in the moment, life’s distractions warp the way you see reality. When you are tired, with a new baby and no money, college just doesn’t have the same “glow”. The tiny child in your arms becomes the most important thing in your world. Eventually, the new blush wears off and you start down your life path again, until a new experience “gets in the way”.
I don’t have any answers. I only know the way things feel. I get frustrated and mad at myself for not having a college degree, but I wouldn’t trade the experiences I have had. I devoted myself completely to whatever was in my life at the time. While I may regret not having a degree, I do not regret being there 24/7 for my children and molding them into the amazing people they are becoming. I’m sure that I will begin back to college shortly and perhaps this time I will make it through to the end, if I can keep the distractions at bay.
Let’s see what Gillian, over at Food History has to say.
Getting Confused and Coming All Undone
So You Want to be a Chic Chick
December 4th, 2007 at 2:48 pm
I understand about this feeling. I used to feel that I was somehow “lesser”, not just because of being degree-less, but having started and stopped college so many times. Then I realised that having that paper on the wall really didn’t validate me nor did it regulate where I was headed in life.
A fabulous blog post, and a helluva way to kick off this month’s chain. Fab-o.
December 5th, 2007 at 6:34 am
[...] Fence me In” – “Give me lists, lots of lists.” Which brings me to Kat, who started this blogchain off by talking about [...]
December 5th, 2007 at 7:54 am
I went back to finish my undergraduate degree the summer I turned 33 and I finished it about a month after my 35th birthday. All I can tell you is that it’s the best thing I ever did for myself and Miss Mama was right all those gazillions of times she told me I had to do it for ME.
You’ll find the right time, Kat. I never thought I would, but I did. It was like having brain candy all the time for several years running.
Excellent post to begin, hon. Bravo!
December 5th, 2007 at 8:52 am
Why do you get angry with yourself for not finishing college or getting a college degree? I agree with the philosophy that if getting that degree were important to you, you would have found a way. I mean, even if it meant you took one class a semester for umpteen years, that’s what you would’ve done. I understand about life getting in the way, and time and money being real obstacles (that’s why I have a blog about finding scholarship). Still, a college degree isn’t that important, unless it’s important to you. Is it? Why? Good luck finding the answers that make you happy, and following through on them.
December 5th, 2007 at 9:10 am
[...] Fence me In” – “Give me lists, lots of lists.” Which brings me to Kat, who started this blogchain off by talking about distractions. [...]
December 5th, 2007 at 10:12 am
I didn’t go to college. I was too insecure and afraid at 18. I’m also smart, so trying to choose a major was like taking a kid to a candy store - how was I supposed to choose just one thing?
I’ve spent the last 20 years doing things I want to do. And I’m good with that. If you want to get your degree, do it! If you don’t, that’s alright, too.
December 6th, 2007 at 9:25 am
And here I am with a newborn,nodding my head. Life sure does keep us busy which is why I’m glad I did my BA way back when. But now I look at an MBA and I’m not sure I can do it–I’m too busy!
M
December 6th, 2007 at 10:09 pm
At least you didn’t have 10 years of paying back student loans… That’s what I regretted. I would go to a less expensive college if I could do it again.
By the way, it’s never too late if you want to go back.
December 9th, 2007 at 4:09 pm
When the time is right, if it’s right, you’ll go and finish your UG degree. While a degree can be important and worthwhile, there are a lot of people out there with degrees (and higher ones at that) who still can’t think their way out of a paper bag, so there’s something to be said for having a degree in Life. KWIM? I say, feel no guilt and make no excuses about the choices you’ve made.
(I tried posting a comment last night, then the laptop hiccupped and I think it got lost in Internet hyperspace, so apologies if this turns out to be a double post.)
December 9th, 2007 at 6:28 pm
Hmmm. Well here I am for the comment blitz, but I already commented.
I also signed up for the blog chain, but it hasn’t made it’s way to me yet.
Sigh.
M
December 10th, 2007 at 6:35 pm
Great post! Good for you for recognizing that your “excuses” were excuses (good though they may be–in fact, I can’t think of a better one!) and also for accepting that you will get that degree when it’s meant to be.
It sounds like your life path has been perfect for you, and that’s what matters!
December 11th, 2007 at 3:22 pm
Thanks to everyone for your GREAT comments. I am happy with my life path… but sometimes I do feel sad that I don’t have a degree. It is important to me… but not nearly as important as raising my beautiful children.
If I am going to be completely honest with myself… well… I enjoy the PURSUIT of the degree more than the idea of having the degree. I really enjoy college classes. I love getting A’s on everything… the studying.. the preparing. Truth be told, I think that is what I miss most of all… actually taking the classes.
But.. life moves on.. and I’m sure that someday I will return to school. For now, I’ll concentrate on raising my children, my husband, and my writing. Three of the most important things in my life.
December 18th, 2007 at 7:36 pm
YOu know I practiced law for 15 years before finally doing something different and now I teach - and I have alot of older adult students. People who have incredible diverse jobs from President of companies to pre school teachers. I have new moms and grandmoms. It is wonderful to see adults finally deciding that they wanted to come back for their degree and now alot of schools provide degree programs specifically for adults. So when you are ready, you can definitely do it - you have plenty of time.
December 23rd, 2007 at 5:18 pm
I have learned that degrees, especially UG degrees, are pretty underrated. Mine is in English and I’m neck-deep in debt, so much so that I actually can’t move out on my own because I don’t make enough to support living expenses, the $750 a month payment and rent. What I do know is so far from English that I didn’t even see it coming but like you wouldn’t trade your motherly experiences, I wouldn’t trade mine. Sure they were chock full of beer pong and drunken nights but at the same time I’ve also lived in two of the largest cities in the world, New York and London. I’ve traveled Europe and I excelled at my classes and, to me, the debt is worth it. Right now I’m making enough that I can save and pay what I need to pay and I’ll get there eventually. This is my life. That is yours. You need to do what’s best for you at the moment you’re living it and can’t go based on what others say you should do.
January 4th, 2008 at 8:15 am
A good life is about good learning and living. A degree is only one path to that. Your path sound rather cool to me, to be honest - lacking the degree might have affected some of your choices, but it certanly hasn’t made your life less interesting. And think of those people who go to university and zombie their way through it - the piece fo paper might be the only useful thing they get from several years of their lives.