Sometimes it really does hurt to be a mom. And I’m not talking about the actual moment of “becoming” a mom, when you are pushing out a 7lb baby. I’m talking about those moments in life when you know you can’t protect your child from a hurtful thing. Let me try to explain.
My youngest daughter was born with no sight in her left eye. She has a condition called “microphthalmia”. It literally means “little eye”. There is no known cause of it and it isn’t genetic. It just happens. At 3 weeks old, she went in for surgery. There was no hope of restoring vision as the back structures of the eye did not form properly, but they were able to fix some of the issues that were stopping her eye from growing.
I knew that her left eye would always be smaller than her right, but I didn’t know by how much (still don’t, as both eyes are continuing to grow). Children can be cruel, and I knew that she was probably going to be teased in school. I became determined to bring her up with as much self-esteem as possible. I had a bit of help in that department, because God blessed her with the most amazing personality I have ever witnessed. She literally lights up a room. You can’t help but smile when she engages you.
My daughter, at about 5 months old
We are now five years later. My baby with the “little eye” has grown into this amazing child with a will of steel. Through it all, there is one fear that has stayed with me - that one day she will look in the mirror and hate what she sees. Just typing that .. right now.. still makes my breath catch.
Just recently, I’ve had a glimpse of the future. Because she doesn’t wear her glasses to gymnastics, her little eye is quite visible. The other girls on the team told her that her little eye “twitches”… and now my sweet girl is feeling self-conscious. She stares into the mirror and tries to catch her little eye twitching. She asks me over and over, “is my little eye twitching right now?”.
How do you handle this? What can you say to a five year old? How can you build a wall of self-esteem that her peers won’t be able to break down? How can you make her see that she is so much more than just her “little eye”.
I did the only thing I could, for now. I reminded her that even though God gave her a little eye, He also gave her so many other amazing attributes. He blessed her with the ability to bring joy to every person she meets. He honored her with wit and charm and a quick-thinking brain to help her succeed. And, even with her little eye, He blessed her with beauty. Sure, her little eye is different from other people’s eyes, but it doesn’t lessen how beautiful she is.
My daughter at 5 years old
I was 10 years old when the Outsiders was released to VHS. As an overly emotional pre-teen girl, I pressed my nose to the tv screen and watched it over and over and over until I knew every line by heart. I cried each time Johnny died and I held my breath each time Ponyboy read “Nothing Gold Can Stay”.
That poem spoke to me. I rewound the tape to listen again and again. It touched my heart and awoke a love of poetry that has never died. I recited the poem to everyone I knew and was so excited to find out that it was written by Robert Frost. Imagine my surprise when my English class studied “Stopping By The Woods on a Snowy Evening”. I found out that my favorite poet had so much more to offer.
I quickly became consumed with all things Frost, and my parents surprised me with a compilation book of his poetry. I still have that book, and now I share my favorites with my children.
Nothing Gold Can Stay is still tops on my list, but Robert Frost has created so much beautiful and thoughtful poetry. A few others to read and consider are: Stopping by the Woods on a Snowy Evening, Design (another of my favs!), Mending Wall, and The Pasture. These are only a few… there are so so so many others.
Who are the poets or writers who touched your life? Can you remember that first moment when a beautifully written word took your breath away? Please share. 
For those who aren’t familiar with the poem, or for those who just want to relive its beauty, here it is:
мебели софияNothing Gold Can Stay
by: Robert FrostNature’s first green is gold
Her hardest hue to hold
Her early leaf’s a flower
But only so an hourThen leaf subsides to leaf
So Eden sank to grief
So dawn goes down to day
Nothing gold can stay
I haven’t been keeping up with my blog as well as I hoped to, but I will do better.
Today, I want to share an extraordinary message with you. I came across this video while surfing, and so many of his messages really hit home. It is about 10 minutes, but it will be worth it.
I hope you enjoy Dr. Pausch’s message. Drop a comment and let me know how it left you feeling.
OK, so you know those absolutely ridiculous things that circle the Internet and get stuck in your head?
Here is one that I somehow got 3 years late, but the song is so addicting that it is stuck in my head. I’ve been running around singing Numa Numa for days now.
In an effort to share the pain, I’m putting it up here. I hope you all enjoy it as much as I do. It is in another language, and this is a parody of the original song. Apparently it gained a cult following and parodies and lip-synch competitions to the song sprang up everywhere. This one is by far my favorite, though I can’t say why.
Well, what did you think? Bizarre… I know. But so much fun. We are thinking of designing our own parody to this song, as I currently have my crazy parents staying with me and some equally-crazy family friends will be in tomorrow night. I promise if we do something good, I’ll put it up here for you all to enjoy!
By the way, I downloaded the mp3 of this song to my computer and am figuring out how to transfer it to my cell so I can use it as my ringtone. LOL. The song is just happy and makes me smile. And I guarantee that no one else will have my ringtone!
Have a great day, everyone. Thanks for stopping by, and I hope you do the Numa Numa dance in your head all day long!
[tags]numa numa dance, numa numa song[/tags]
[dels]numa numa dance, numa numa song[/dels]