A Thoughtful Life

Sometimes it really does hurt to be a mom.  And I’m not talking about the actual moment of “becoming” a mom, when you are pushing out a 7lb baby.  I’m talking about those moments in life when you know you can’t protect your child from a hurtful thing.  Let me try to explain.

My youngest daughter was born with no sight in her left eye.  She has a condition called “microphthalmia”.   It literally means “little eye”.  There is no known cause of it and it isn’t genetic.  It just happens.  At 3 weeks old, she went in for surgery.  There was no hope of restoring vision as the back structures of the eye did not form properly, but they were able to fix some of the issues that were stopping her eye from growing.

I knew that her left eye would always be smaller than her right, but I didn’t know by how much (still don’t, as both eyes are continuing to grow).  Children can be cruel, and I knew that she was probably going to be teased in school.  I became determined to bring her up with as much self-esteem as possible.  I had a bit of help in that department, because God blessed her with the most amazing personality I have ever witnessed.  She literally lights up a room.  You can’t help but smile when she engages you.

My daughter, at about 5 months old

We are now five years later.  My baby with the “little eye” has grown into this amazing child with a will of steel.  Through it all, there is one fear that has stayed with me - that one day she will look in the mirror and hate what she sees.  Just typing that .. right now.. still makes my breath catch.

Just recently, I’ve had a glimpse of the future.  Because she doesn’t wear her glasses to gymnastics, her little eye is quite visible.   The other girls on the team told her that her little eye “twitches”… and now my sweet girl is feeling self-conscious.  She stares into the mirror and tries to catch her little eye twitching.  She asks me over and over, “is my little eye twitching right now?”.

How do you handle this?  What can you say to a five year old?  How can you build a wall of self-esteem that her peers won’t be able to break down?  How can you make her see that she is so much more than just her “little eye”.

I did the only thing I could, for now.  I reminded her that even though God gave her a little eye, He also gave her so many other amazing attributes.  He blessed her with the ability to bring joy to every person she meets.  He honored her with wit and charm and a quick-thinking brain to help her succeed.  And, even with her little eye, He blessed her with beauty.  Sure, her little eye is different from other people’s eyes, but it doesn’t lessen how beautiful she is.

My daughter at 5 years old

I hope you all enjoy this as much as I do.  I’ve watched/listened about 4 times now.. and enjoy it more every time I watch it.

I have to give a quick “shout out” to So This for introducing me to Sister Salad.

Enjoy!

Well, it is that time again… another Blog Chain entry. 

In this chain, Ralph Pines started us off with his take on love vs romance and how he hates  romantic tension in sitcoms.  Ralph passed the torch to SouthAsiaBlog, who related it back to characters from two books and a movie.  Now, it is my turn.

Each person views love and romance differently.  To me, romance is a moment in time - a candle-light dinner,  that first magical kiss, those head-swimming moments when time stands still.  A couple can not survive on strictly romance.  It is a thin layer of gloss, used only to make things shiny and pretty.  There is no substance to romance, only glitz.

Romance isn’t about the person within, the living breathing human with feelings and ideals.  It is our mating call or courtship ritual.  We use rosy colors and infectious laughs to call our mates, then blind them with romance.  We ensnare them in a web of pretties, biding enough time for love to take root.

Love, on the other hand, is lasting and deep.  Love allows for disagreements and arguments, for the age-old better and worse.  Love is what sustains a relationship through to the twilight years, when body parts sag and wrinkles come home to roost.  Love is the truth and the realness of life during all of its ups and downs.  Love is solid, and often messy.

Romance and love can coexist, but they don’t have to.  When the bloom of romance fades, a relationship can only continue if there is love.

I think of love and romance as an orange.   The shiny peel (romance) is only a covering for the tasty flesh it holds (love).  For lasting nourishment, you must peal away the romance and feast on sweetness of love inside.

And now I realize that is a double entendre.    I could go back and delete it.. but I think I’ll leave it and see what Ben Solah has to say.

Please visit all of the participants in the blog chain.  Don’t forget to start at the beginning. 

Ralph Pines

Razibahmed
Kat Frass
bsolah
AmyDoodle
FreshHell
escritora
ChaosTitan
Cathy C
harri3tspy
truelyana
tatkinson

As Simon Cowell (of American Idol) would say, this posting is “incredibly indulgent”.  But, seeing as this is my blog… I guess I get to do what I want… LOL

A dear friend has been teasing me lately over the fact that I still have the first (I think) piece of poetry I ever wrote.  She has been begging me to post it (probably so she can have a good laugh).  So.. here I go…

I was in 7th or 8th grade - about 12 years old.  My English teacher gave out an assignment and offered extra credit if we wrote a poem.. so of course I had to get in on that!!  It is so odd how memories work.  Even now, mumble-mumble years later, I can still see my 12-year old self, sitting on the bed staring out the window waiting for inspiration.  I can still *feel* the moment I wrote this poem.

I continued to write poetry throughout my youth, some of it pretty decent (for my age).  I once wrote a free form verse on commiting suicide, even though I never EVER thought about it.  I was big into metaphors… hmm.. I think I still might be… LOL.  Today.. I choose not to write poetry, unless it is a silly little ditty for kids.

OK.. I think I’m stalling.  I’d better just put this up then run for cover…  Here we go… my first poem from 7th grade…..

Rusty shells of long gone cars
Spider-webbed windows, smashed up sides
Sitting throughout the seasons
Watching nature grow and die

Sitting, watching, waiting
For someone, something

Then the rain comes
Ever so softly, as if…
As if not to damage these rusty treasures of time

Here they sit
As they shall for years to come
Waiting
For a destiny unknown